What A Guy Really Means When He "Ignores" You

Hello ladies! My special someone posted a blog post about things to do when your boyfriend ignores you. When she wrote this post, I had not even been aware that I was ignoring her! And today, I want to let you know what the situation is like from a guy's point of view.

So here are the real reasons why your boyfriend, husband, lover or just partner seems to ignore you:

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Men are less social

When a guy comes home from work or school, he doesn't usually talk much at home. For him, it's enough when he sees his girlfriend / wife, gets a smile, a hug and maybe a kiss from her. His world is okay then. 

Girls are very different from that. They need to socialize a lot more and really share their experience of the day with others. I am sometimes amazed how much a girl can talk about her day!

The one thing you need to know: Guys are just different. The way they think is different. There is nothing wrong with us if we don't like to talk as much. This does not mean that we ignore our partners, or that we have nothing to say to you any more! We also tend to be tired enough not to want to talk any more.

Being busy with a new project

Every once in a while, a guy finds a new "toy" to use. This can be a video game, a new piece of hardware to tune his car with, or even his own job. For some reason, guys like to engage in their own projects, and it starts from childhood. They build cars with lego, create castles with playmobil, imagine wild worlds with knights, robots and tanks. Boys can be very creative and always need something going on, and this carries on into adulthood.

Sometimes, it goes a little overboard. There are times when something new comes out, and then you want to spend all day with it. Like playing a new video game all the time, only interrupted by eating, sleeping and showering.

When this happens, it has nothing to do with not being interested in a girlfriend or wife any more. It also does not mean that we don't care any more. And most of all, it's not deliberate! We don't make an active choice to say "hey, I am ignoring you now". We really appreciate getting some tolerance then. Allow us to spend two weeks only doing one thing. If this is a permanent problem, you can tell your guy about it and solve the problem.

Curiosity or killing time

Guys can be perfectly comfortable living with a woman and not sharing much with her except for a bed and the rooms to live in. This can literally mean that man and woman live together, but there seems to be little interaction.

What happens then is this: The guy watches TV, kills time doing whatever he does, and the woman does her own things, which are totally different.

For a woman, this can indicate a crisis because she feels ignored, as if the whole relationship is falling apart. What does the man sense? No crisis at all! He is happy. Why? He can do what he likes, has his special someone near him, and life is so easy and relaxing. He does not perceive this as danger or a problem to the relationship. Men are content in a relationship quite easily. They also don't like to interpret so much into the relationship.

Trying to be independent

Sometimes, a guy wants to be on his own. This can be misinterpreted as "ignoring" the lady. The truth is, as a guy, you just want to retreat from any contact and have time to think or maybe even daydream. Just like when we were little boys, we like to think about our little castles, lego cars etc. But this time, it's not toys we think about, it's money, or how to improve physically, or what to do next as a hobby. Yes, we are very active in our minds and sometimes like to go out for a walk alone or just be undisturbed.

So all of these activities are related to issues that deal with the self. It's self-reflection. No thought is spent on "I want to ignore my girlfriend/wife". This is not even what we think about.

Important things to know

Here are some things you should consider when you feel you are being ignored:

1. Unless your guy holds a grudge against you, it is most likely that he is not even aware that you feel ignored!

2. Most cases of being ignored are not related to the guy being actively trying to ignore, but being more busy with thoughts regarding himself. This is not egoistic, it only means that he is very much in his own world and doesn't observe much how a woman reacts.

3. Men are really, really bad at reading subtle signs. Don't expect a guy to read your feelings from body language alone. Men don't read minds and don't like to interpret your behaviour. They need very clear messages if there is a problem! Guys love direct communication! They are very grateful if you analyze the problem yourself, tell him in few words exactly what is going on and how this affects you. They also love if you are not emotional about it, but tell him in a friendly way how you are feeling and offer him a chance to solve the problem together with you without drama!

4. Be aware that guys don't have high standards in a relationship. They can be happy easily if they just live with a good woman. If they didn't want to be with you, they would already have broken up. Please have trust that a man who is in a relationship with you wants to be with you, even if he seems a little distant. From a man's point of view, a relationship does not always mean that the partners share every moment together, can read each other's minds, and have endless amounts of romantic moments together. Men just love the comfort of having a person to fall back on, someone to get a hug from, someone to give life stability. It can be so simple!

5. There are two types of ignoring a woman: Ignoring without any hidden meaning, and ignoring because something is wrong. I have talked about unintended, innocent ignoring here because I believe that many women just misunderstand their partners quickly. However, if you argue a lot or if you know that something is often wrong in your relationship, it's best if you just talk to him. A direct conversation can help. And this leads us back to things to do when your husband or boyfriend ignores you.

Cats and dogs

Women and men can be like cats and dogs. None of them want any trouble, but when interaction occurs, misunderstandings can happen. It takes some time to get used to the different language that is used. If you want to understand how a man works, you should try to think like a man instead of projecting your own thinking pattern onto him. What seems like a relationship crisis to you may not even be perceived as one through his eyes.

Find out what is actually going on. Is there a relationship problem? Are both of you feeling uncomfortable or only one of you? Is the discomfort only based on a misunderstanding or is there an underlying problem? The best thing you can ever do is: Communicate.

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